Two weeks ago a friend of mine shared an article with me that couldn’t have come at a better time, the article is titled “The Gift of being Unattached in relationships”, something I find quite difficult myself. Through this post I’d like to share this article, my own experience and to keep reminding myself to be unattached in love.
Being unattached in love doesn’t mean you can’t love someone fully, it simple means you love them without expectations or limitations. Letting go of all our conditioned believes of how and what a relationship should be. All that is left is to enjoy each others presence, while understanding you don’t own each other, nor do you owe each other anything in return of the gestures of love between each other.
It’s a love story all taking place here and now, without feeding our ego’s by planning or working towards a “goal”. This is where it get’s tricky, well at least for me, while at the same time it doesn’t (still follow me?). The past years I’ve been working on living in harmony with my ego, being aware of it and not feeding it, but when it comes to love, well let’s just say there is much for me to learn.
Recently I’ve caught my ego spiralling out of control over someone I care for a lot, so instead of enjoying the journey I got caught in a storm. I started realising I was trying to control the situation (as I try to with anything in my life) and had expectations about this relationship, instantly causing suffering because doing so things become fragile, afraid it might end or not go as we’d expect, but why? Why should we try to control our relationships or set any expectations at all, when we can just enjoy the moments that we share, being present and fully there for one another.
Throughout the years I’ve learned to constantly reevaluate my life, being honest to myself, so from now on I’ll try even harder to be unattached in love. And don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I won’t be in a romantic relationship, it simply means that when I am, I won’t claim my partner, because I know he has his own path to live as do I.
Loving someone hard can never hurt us, it is our ego’s and attachments that will cause us to suffer when we lose our beloved or when relationships don’t go as we planned. And there is nothing wrong with that, we are allowed to hurt and mourn, but let us mourn without feeding our ego’s with “what if’s”, let us be present.
So I highly encourage you to read this elephant journal article, and ask yourselves, are you unattached in your relationships?